


Star Crossed

by boulderuphill



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Astrology, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25001431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boulderuphill/pseuds/boulderuphill
Summary: “So, Kevin, does this sound like Jean?” Nicky said. “Reliable, devoted and practical. Ooh, but also possessive and stubborn; that’s kinda hot, isn’t it?”--Nicky gets into astrology and won't shut up about it.
Relationships: Kevin Day/Jean Moreau
Comments: 35
Kudos: 102





	1. eyes me like a pisces

**Author's Note:**

> this is the silliest fic born out of the silliest idea. is all the astrology in it correct? probably not. shh dont think too much about it

Kevin was alone in the dorm bedroom, studying the folder of the team they were due to play next, when Jean called him.

“It’s almost my birthday.” With Jean there was never any preamble. Kevin couldn’t remember the last time they’d started one of their conversations with an ‘hello’. Instead, each time they spoke it was like no time had passed between them at all.

“I know. Three weeks, right?” 

In Kevin’s calendar the days of their games were marked with red, exams with green, and birthdays with blue. On the day of purchase, the 2nd of May had been the first date he marked. Just the act of writing Jean’s name on something that was going to hang in the middle of their kitchen, for everyone to see, felt strange and exciting.

“You don’t need to get me a gift,” Jean said. 

In the Nest they had exchanged gifts once. Jean had given Kevin a book on Alexander the Great, acquired with great discretion. For two days it stood, unnoticed, in Kevin’s bookshelf. Then he placed it on his desk, because he wasn’t being cautious enough, and Riko found it. Even though the greeting on the inside of the cover wasn’t signed, the fact that it was in French made it easy to trace its origin. The next day, Jean had shown up with fresh bruises before practice even started. 

Now, Riko was dead, and there was no one there to punish them. 

“I want to give you something,” Kevin said.

Ever since Jean pierced his ear last fall Kevin had looked for a suitable piece of jewelry to gift him. With each selfie Jean sent, the earrings grew bigger and bolder, elongating the curve of his neck when he pulled back his hair. In the last picture, the tip of the feather dangling from his ear almost touched his shoulder.

So when Kevin had seen an ear cuff in the style of a wreath like the ones worn by Roman emperors, designed to climb along the ear with golden leaves sprouting from its stalk, he had bought it in a heartbeat. Now it was sitting in a small box with dark green wrapping and a golden ribbon at the bottom of his dresser, just waiting for May to arrive.

“Well,” Jean spun the word, seeming to know exactly how to rope Kevin into just about anything. “You could visit me, since it’s a Saturday.” 

“It’s in the middle of Championships,” Kevin said, more to remind Jean than himself. Ever since the Christmas Banquet, when they had spent hours outside just talking, he had been looking forward to seeing Jean again.

“What if I tell you all of our tactics?” Jean’s voice had a playful tone. It was the same one he would fall into when they were alone in the Nest and dared to be excited about something. “Or you can poison our captain, that might be even more effective.”

Kevin tried to swallow the fondness that swelled in his chest, but only managed to make himself sound half as serious as he attempted. “Or you can practice with me,” he said, “so we don’t fall behind when I’m there.”

“Are you asking me to play Exy on my birthday?” Kevin could imagine Jean shaking his head in disappointment, just to commit to the act. “Fine. Visit me, and I will make you cry on the Court just like old times.”

After they hung up, Kevin barely managed to open the bedroom door before Nicky’s voice called out to him.

“Hey, Kevin!” His head was sticking out over the couch backrest. “When’s your birthday?” 

“It’s th-”

“Don’t tell him.” Andrew wasn’t visible from where Kevin was standing, and at first he thought he had imagined the interjection. Then he realised it probably came from one of the beanbags, hidden behind the couch. Nicky just rolled his eyes and mouthed _tell me_.

“22nd of February.” It made Nicky laugh, but when Kevin didn’t say anything else, his face fell.

“Wow, really? I mean, okay.” He brought his hands up so Kevin could see the book he was flicking through. A large, red thing with a stylized zodiac wheel on the cover. “Oh, so you’re a Pisces, then. Known for being… gentle and compassionate. Uh, are you sure that’s your actual birthday and not just some bad joke?” 

Before Kevin could protest, Andrew stood up, revealing a blank expression as he spoke. 

“Don’t tell me you’re actually shocked by astrology being inaccurate.” 

“It’s a legitimate science.” Nicky waved the book at Andrew. “But I’m not going to waste my time trying to explain that to a Scorpio.”

Kevin caught Andrew’s eyes and raised his brow. “You told him yours?” he asked, and caught the slightest twitch of annoyance in the corner of Andrew’s mouth.

“He refused, but Aaron told me straight away.” Nicky’s smile was almost wider than his face.

This was a waste of their time. The next game was less than two weeks away, and Astrology wasn’t going to change the sorry state of their backline.

“It isn’t real. Focus on the game instead,” Kevin said and turned on the spot. As he went back into the bedroom to return to studying the folder, Nicky groaned behind him.

♓︎

Friday’s practice was messy, so Neil stayed behind to discuss the coming game with Dan. Because Dan refused to let Kevin listen in on their meetings, he waited with Andrew and Nicky in the lobby.

“Can’t you just drop us off at the dorms and come back for him?” Nicky was almost completely sunken into one of the armchairs, fiddling with his phone. “I want to change before we get there anyway. And I’m sure Kevin agrees that the sacred First Friday Shot is way overdue.” He turned his phone to them to point at the clock at the top of the screen, showing that it was quarter past six. His lock screen was a picture of him and Erik, kissing in front of the Brandenburger Tor.

Kevin nodded, but Andrew did not even look up from his book.

“Whatever,” Nicky finally said. “Hey, Kevin, do you want me to look up if we should date?” 

“Spare us.” Andrew shifted in the chair, so he was turned away from Nicky.

“Shut up, only singles get a say in this.” Kevin almost corrected him. It had been months since his breakup with Thea, but so little had changed that he found himself forgetting about it. In a way their relationship had ended the moment left the Nest, it had just been a matter of saying the words out loud. 

Before he could stop himself, his mind wandered to his friendship with Jean, and the fear that the same thing applied to them. For Kevin, it didn’t. It was actually the opposite, that since he left the Nest he thought about Jean even more than when they were always side by side. But maybe, for Jean, their friendship was the remains of something better left in the past. 

“Shit.” Nicky’s voice brought Kevin back to the present. “It says we’re doomed to fail. _Gemini is too emotionally detached for Pisces_. It says here you might be better off with another water sign, like a Scorpio.” Nicky immediately looked at Andrew, eyes large and mouth hanging open. 

“Are you proud?” Andrew said without missing a beat.

“Yes? I mean, why?” 

“Since you have just succeeded where thousands of others have failed. You have proven that there is not a single grain of truth to horoscopes.”

Nicky shifted in the armchair as he kept tapping the screen of his phone.

“Fine, whatever. Other than that, hm, maybe an earth sign? It says that Pisces and Tauruses have a _magical emotional connection_.” He looked up at the ceiling, resting the phone against his chin in a pensive pose. “Do we know anyone who’s a Taurus? They’d have to be born between the… 19th of April and May 20th, that’s right. So basically now. Hey, that means Jean is one, right? Didn’t you say that’s why you’re going to Cali? Because it’s his birthday?”

Kevin swallowed. They were alone in the lobby, but he felt as exposed as if they had been discussing this for the entire team to hear. Nicky didn’t seem to notice, far too excited about what he was reading. 

“So, does this sound like him?” he said. “Reliable, devoted and practical. Ooh, but also possessive and stubborn; that’s kinda hot, isn’t it?” 

Andrew made a sound that sounded like a mix between a cough and a short laugh. Kevin’s lips were dry. His heartbeat was picking up, probably from how bizarre the situation was. 

“I told you, it isn’t real,” he said, but Nicky didn’t seem to care.

“Right, right, but what if it was? It says they like material things, so you better have gotten him an expensive gift. You know, I could totally see it. He even taught you the Language of Love; maybe you’re soulmates without even knowing.”

In that moment the door to the locker room opened and Neil appeared, hair ruffled and wet. As they walked to the car, Nicky nudged Kevin’s side, but he didn’t say anything else.

♓︎

By Monday night, Kevin was already packing. It was going to be a short trip, just Friday to Sunday with Andrew driving him to and from the airport. Still, his bag was quickly becoming so full that he struggled to zip it shut. 

There were so many what if’s. What if it rained? Better bring a jacket. What if, to celebrate, they went out to eat? Better bring a suit. What if Jean wanted to go swimming? He reached for the trunks, but froze in the middle of the motion when his phone buzzed. 

In the moments it took to get it out of his pocket, he was able to imagine ten different scenarios in which Jean cancelled on him. The causes ranged from sickness to having realised that their friendship was hindering his recovery.

When he unlocked the phone, and Nicky’s name was at the top of the message, relief showered over him.

_[Nicky 18:56] good thing u dont believe in this stuff. id be worried if this was me :PP_

There was a link attached, leading to a website whose headline said WEEKLY HOROSCOPES in blue and gold. The header was a starry sky, with lines drawn between the stars to mark the constellations. 

> **Pisces**
> 
> Brace yourself for disappointment. 
> 
> Don’t make any unnecessary journeys or big changes this week. 
> 
> Take time to show the people you love how much you appreciate them; they can’t read your mind. 
> 
> Lucky Flower: Bay Leaf.

Kevin read the horoscope twice. It did nothing to make it any less horrifying. Why was it so easy for him to discount astrology as a fake science when it wasn’t so menacing? 

It was like how wearing a lucky jersey did nothing to change his performance on the court. But if he didn’t move the racquet from his right hand to his left, and then back to the right again before the game started, he would blame himself if they lost. 

The only comfort was that he wasn’t planning on making any big changes. It was quite the opposite, since the entire purpose of the trip was to maintain the status quo. If he had even entertained the thought of changing the nature of their relationship, which he hadn’t, it would have to remain just another _what if_. 

His phone buzzed again, and a new message from Nicky appeared below the last one. 

_[Nicky 19:04] btww here is a link to that love thing again just in case ;))_


	2. bull's eye like tauruses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope everyone is doing well and that this maybe makes you smile a little :^)

_[Kevin 15:33]_ _Nicky says we get along well because I’m a Pisces and you’re a Taurus. Do you believe in astrology?_

 _[Jean, 15:35]_ _No. Do you?_

_[Kevin 15:44] Maybe. I didn’t before, but it’s fitting. You’ve always been stubborn like a bull._

“Something funny?” Jeremy was driving. Still, he must have managed to catch the involuntary smile Jean’s mouth curled into.

“Just Kevin,” Jean said, without looking up from his phone. 

The soundtrack of their journey to practice was Jeremy’s playlist, courtesy of his phone being connected to the car. While the current song, something by Nirvana, wasn’t Jean’s favourite (he hadn’t even known of them a year ago) it was a lot easier to tune out than some of the other stuff Jeremy usually queued.

_[Jean 14:50] Really? What’s a pisces like, then?_

“What’s he saying?” Jeremy’s eyes bounced between Jean and the road, grinning like he expected some kind of gossip.

“Please focus,” Jean said and gave a curt nod forward. “And he told me that he’s a Pisces.”

“Is he?” Jeremy burst out laughing, and Jean had to nod again to remind him where his focus should be. “That’s amazing, and so fitting. Mom used to be so into this stuff when I was a kid. And it’s no wonder the two of you get along so well; you’re a Taurus, aren’t you?” 

“Apparently. He said his teammate thinks so too.” Jean tried to sound casual, even when the idea of his and Kevin’s compatibility being written in the stars turned the usual pit in his stomach into something warm and soft.

“Really? Which one?” 

“Hemmick, their backliner.” Jean couldn’t care less, but Jeremy’s eyes had already turned glassy, as if he was running through a mental list of all the players he knew by name.

“That’s the one from the Kick Off Banquet, right? Who liked my suit?” 

“Probably.” 

The light ahead turned yellow, and they rolled to a halt. Jean checked his phone, but there still wasn’t a reply from Kevin. 

“It’s funny,” Jeremy said, “‘cause that’s probably why Kevin and Andrew are joined at the hip too. Pretty sure the Minyard’s are born in November, so they’d be Scorpios. Remember Exystence running that special on them last fall?”

“No.” It came out harsh, far too tainted by the annoyance suddenly blossoming in Jean’s chest at the mere mention of Andrew’s name. “I mean, I didn’t read it. And they’re not that close.” 

Jeremy tapped the steering wheel to the rhythm of the music, waiting for the light to switch with a thoughtful look on his face.

“Are you sure? They’re always together, though, aren’t they? Just last night Andrew was the first to check on Kevin when he took that hit.” 

There was no need to remind Jean of that. They had watched the game together, and when the opposing team’s dealer rammed straight into Kevin, racquet first, Jean could do nothing but watch. 

Meanwhile Andrew had ran out of the goal so fast he was there before the referee had gotten the red card out. He’d shoved the dealer to the ground, earning himself a yellow card too, and hovered over Kevin until he got up on his own and waved that he was fine.

“Only because he was the closest,” Jean mumbled between gritted teeth, refreshing the chat over and over again. 

“I guess. I’ve just never seen him move so fast, he’s usually doesn’t even leave the goa-” “Whatever.” 

There was a moment of silence. Then, as if the previous minute of conversation had never happened, Jeremy said “he’ll get here Friday night, right?” 

Living and getting along with the Trojans was still a work in progress. Most of them made an effort, Jeremy most of all. To his credit, Jeremy also made sure to back off when he happened to touch on something Jean didn’t want to talk about. There were never any hard feelings, just swift pivoting of the conversation.

“Yes, Friday.”

“Do you want the room to yourself? I could go with Laila to Sacramento if you want privacy.”

Jean glanced at Jeremy with narrowed eyes, as if he could see what was going on in his head if he just focused hard enough.

“Why would I want that?” 

Jeremy shrugged, but his grin didn’t falter. “No reason,” he said, and just as he did the light before them turned green. He stepped on the gas, making the engine rev beneath them. The phone buzzed in Jean’s hand, and when he saw the message, Jeremy didn’t seem so important anymore.

_[Kevin 15:01] Not sure. He sent me this link, but it seems to mostly be about love._

♉︎

It didn’t matter how early Jean got up in the mornings, or if he worked himself to exhaustion at practice. Come night, he would always stay up long after Jeremy had fallen asleep. Usually he would just lay on his bed and reread the messages he had exchanged with Kevin throughout the day. 

That night the first thing he did when he opened their chat conversation was clicking the link Kevin had sent him. The lights in the dorms were off, and the dark theme of the website was soft on his eyes. He had already read it several times, returning to it throughout the day whenever he had a moment to spare. 

It was as if the author of the piece had somehow found out everything about them. From Kevin’s idealistic tendencies, to the Jean’s love for all things beautiful. He read about how well they worked together, and how sometimes they did not even need to speak in order to communicate. 

Further down, one of the subheadings read _Sex and Intimacy_. The mere sight of it made Jean’s face heat up, half hidden by the covers. Pisces got lost in the sexual experience, it said. At once, images of Kevin on his back, head thrown back and neck exposed, made blood rush from Jean’s head towards his core.

He breathed deeply and reminded himself of Jeremy, sleeping on the other side of the room. They were so close that if the both of them reached out from their beds, their hands could meet in the middle. 

He considered getting up. It wouldn’t be the first time he had locked himself in the bathroom to have a private moment. But the arousal was already receding with the reminder that he wasn’t alone, and he scrolled quickly on his phone to find something else to focus on. 

Among the titles of related articles there was one called _Scorpio + Pisces._ Even though it turned his stomach, morbid curiosity brought him to click on it. It had a header like the one he just read, but instead of a Taurus symbol beside the heart there was the Scorpio one. Even the symbol looked menacing, like it had a devil’s tail. 

The Scorpio, it said, was distrusting and secretive. This came as no surprise to Jean. He had only spoken to Andrew a handful of times, yet knew next to nothing about him. It also said that Scorpios were jealous, which would explain why he appeared to be glued to Kevin’s side. 

There was a section of sexual intimacy in this one as well. The headline prompted that same image of Kevin, but this time with Andrew’s small, grubby hands holding onto his hips while he kissed the base of Kevin’s throat. 

Jean shut the website down and threw the phone away. It must have landed on the carpet, because the impact was nothing but a soft thud. 

He rolled over onto his back. It was so dark, he couldn’t quite make out the ceiling. He did not dare to close his eyes, afraid of what he might see.

♉︎

On Wednesdays both Jean’s and Jeremy’s schedules left three hours between their morning and afternoon classes. Today, Jeremy had decided to prepare lunch for the two of them. 

“Did you know that Scorpios tend to be violent?” Jean said from where he was sat at the kitchen table, playing with the pearl dangling from his ear and watching Jeremy cut carrots by the counter. Even though Jeremy was standing with his back against the room, the angle made it possible to see how the knife stilled.

“I did not.” Jeremy picked up the pace again so quick it might have been a coincidence it slowed at all. “I think they’re mainly known for being resourceful.” 

There was a notepad on the table with a pen hooked over its top. Jean reached for it and began doodling, just to keep his fingers occupied and from checking his phone again.

“I don’t know,” he said without looking up. “I just mean, it is a wonder Kevin keeps Andrew around, if he is like that.”

“Maybe.” There was a loud sizzle when the vegetables hit the pan. Beneath Jean’s hands an image was protruding. Something that started as a curve was growing into the body of a fish, chasing it’s own long, flowing tail. 

“What kind of friends do you think he should be making?” Jeremy said, and Jean knew he should not just quote the website Kevin had linked, even though it was the first thing that came to mind. 

“People who are reliable,” he said, at last. ”Devoted. Patient.” The fish was below a glistening water surface, but the pen wasn’t quite fine enough to create the scales as he imagined them. 

“Right, so maybe someone who is more like a Taurus?” Jeremy’s back was still turned, so he wouldn’t be able to see Jean rolling his eyes. 

“If you say so,” Jean said, and put the pen down. 

Jeremy divided the vegetable between two bowls. When one ended up more full than the other, he used a fork to scoop over the excess. As he placed one in front of Jean, and the other by the seat opposite him, they were perfectly equal. 

“So, do you have anything planned for when he gets here?” Jeremy shoved a forkful of vivid colors into his large mouth. His genuine curiosity for Jean’s life and thoughts hadn’t wavered in the year they had lived together, but Jean still found it surprising.

“No,” he shook his head and pierced a single carrot piece. “He wants to practice, so we will do that.” 

He didn’t feel like explaining to Jeremy that he didn’t care what they did. They could sit on opposite sides of the room and stare at each other in silence all weekend, and it would still be the best birthday of Jean’s life. Jeremy wouldn’t understand. His idea of love was dating some boy on the basketball team for a month, only for it to fizzle out when the girl he had Spanish with started showing up at Alvarez’s parties.

“I was just thinking since Pisces tend to like, y’know, those big gestures that make them feel appreciated, maybe you had something like that planned.” Jeremy showed with his hands just how big the gesture might be, and almost knocked the bowl over with the motion.

It looked ridiculous, and Jean couldn’t help but smile.

“It’s my birthday,” he said, and pointed his fork at Jeremy. “Yet I have to do the gesture?” 

It made Jeremy laugh too. Loud and burly, turning his big, brown eyes into bright slits. Sometimes Kevin would laugh like that, so hard he lost all composure, and Jean would be the only person in the world to see it. 

“Only if you want to impress him.” Jeremy’s smile was knowing, and Jean kicked him under the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. shoutout to all my scorpios u guys rock jean is just a hater  
> 2\. i had SO much fun writing jeremy maybe he'll show up more in my future fics


	3. stars from our eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we are, at the end of this silly story that started as a joke :') thanks for sticking around. and thanks to [essence29](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Essence29) for being a dear and beta-ing this final part.

When Kevin walked out of the airport, Jean was already there waiting for him. He was leaning against the hood of his car, a black Lamborghini that made Kevin roll his eyes every time he saw it. When Jean bought it they had argued, because it seemed like such an unnecessary thing to spend a small fortune on. Kevin’s opinion hadn’t changed, but even he wasn’t immune to the way Jean looked next to it, dressed in all black and with his hair tied back.

It had grown so much since the Nest; last time they had seen each other it almost reached Jean’s shoulders. _To give you something to hold onto_ , Jean had joked when Kevin made a comment about it before their game, _it’s the only way you’ll get past me._

That was their relationship now. One of jokes and casual conversation. They weren’t relegated to the darkness anymore, and sometimes that was confusing. Kevin had whispered so many things into Jean’s ear over the years they were hiding together. It had been secrets, confessions, dreams, and none of it had been addressed after Riko’s death. Just the thought of speaking any of it out loud, as much as Kevin wanted to, terrified him. 

Especially now, when Nicky’s message had cautioned him against making any large changes. He was already challenging the stars by making this trip, so, for now, he would have to keep it inside, just like he had for the last year. 

Thank god the sight of Jean still evoked that ridiculous, fuzzy feeling it had the first time they met. Kevin focused on it. The plane hadn’t gone down, he reminded himself. The bag he brought was hanging safely off of his shoulder, and Jean hadn’t gotten himself killed in traffic driving to pick him up. It was going to be okay. 

Their eyes met, and at once Jean perked up. He didn’t say anything until Kevin was close enough for him to reach for Kevin’s bag. It slid off Kevin’s shoulder, and Jean pretended to be shocked by the weight. 

“Are these your Astrology books?” he said with a grin while throwing it into the trunk. 

Kevin chose not to dignify that with an answer, and walked around the car to the passenger side. Before he got in he stopped and looked over the roof, finding Jean’s eyes. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Kevin said. In response Jean furrowed his brows, making them look even more jagged and irregular than they normally did.

“I said I would pick you up. Of course, I am here.” 

Kevin shrugged and got into the car. He expected Jean to start it up as soon as the doors closed behind them, but he didn’t. 

“Why wouldn’t I be here?” Jean switched to French, like he often would when their conversations turned serious. It made it a bigger deal than it needed to be, so Kevin stuck his chin out and prepared to be laughed at. 

“No, I know you said you would. But you know that link I sent you, with the compatibility?” Something changed in Jean’s expression when he nodded. It reminded Kevin of curiosity, softening the defensiveness that was peering through. 

“Well, the site does horoscopes too, and Nicky sent me one before I left. It just reminded me that travelling can be dangerous.” 

“Seriously?” Jean’s face cracked into a smile. His earring, a gold chain with a rose stone at the end of it dangled against his neck as he shook his head. “You have to stop reading those.”

The engine vibrated softly beneath them when Jean turned the key. 

In the pocket of Kevin’s jeans was the small package containing Jean’s gift. It pressed against his thigh, reminding him that as soon as they got out of the car would be the perfect moment to hand it over. 

When they were still in the Nest, Jean would sometimes light up at the sight of a particularly beautiful trinket. He would run his long fingers over it, asking Kevin if he thought it was small enough to keep out of Riko’s sight. This time, Jean wouldn’t have to hide it. 

“Hello? Kevin?” Jean’s voice brought Kevin back to reality. “You know it isn’t true, so why do you read it at all?”

“He keeps sending them,” Kevin said and looked out the window in protest. “It’s not like I’m searching for them myself.” 

They were in the middle of the caravan of cars towards the city, moving so slowly that people on foot were passing them by.

“Block him.” 

“What?” Kevin turned back towards Jean, whose eyes were firm on the road.

“I said: block his number. So he can’t send you the things that worry you.”

“I’m not blocking Nicky’s number.” Kevin laughed, because the whole thing was ridiculous, but Jean remained serious.

“Give me your phone,“ he said and let go of the wheel. He held his right hand out towards Kevin with the palm up, so Kevin could see the rings he was wearing even clearer. Silver and gold of varying size were stacked on top of each of his fingers, clicking against each other when Jean grasped at the air. “Give it to me, and I’ll do it for you.” 

“You’re driving.” Kevin swatted his hand away. 

Something was playing in the corner of Jean’s mouth, but he had always been the better one at keeping a poker face.

“I can pull over,” he said. They were surrounded by cars on both sides, stuck in the famous LA Traffic, but Jean made it sound like a serious suggestion. “I mean it; you are too good to them. I blocked Jeremy the first week here.” 

“What? You can’t do that. Why would you?”

“Because he kept sending me menacing horoscopes.” Jean looked so pleased with himself, finally breaking into a large grin. At the sight of it, the simmering warmth in Kevin’s chest climbed up his neck and over his face. 

“Very funny,” he said, and turned to look out the window again, hoping to hide some of the redness that was surely tinting his cheeks. 

☉

They parked outside of the USC dorms. Jean got Kevin’s bag out of the trunk, and ignored Kevin’s hand, reaching for it. Instead, he threw it over his own shoulder, and started making his way up the staircase to the floor with his and Jeremy’s room.

The last time Kevin visited, half of the Trojan team had been there upon his arrival. They’d all been excited to meet him, and in the evening Jean had complained to Jeremy and Kevin alike about the lack of personal space.

This time when Jean opened the door, there were no greetings being called out. Instead, the room was empty.

“Where’s Jeremy?” Kevin asked, standing awkwardly in the doorway while Jean threw Kevin’s bag on the bed with a giant Trojan flag pinned to the wall above it. Jeremy’s side, Kevin thought, considering the other side of the room was completely void of decorations. 

“Sacramento.” Jean snatched some scattered clothes off the floor and threw them on the chair by the foot of the bed on his way to Jeremy’s bedside table. “Alvarez is visiting her family, so he went with her.”

Kevin studied Jean’s back. He hadn’t tanned much over the year, despite what he had told Kevin were Jeremy’s best efforts, still, he looked different. Maybe it was the way he moved, with a kind of confidence that he had never been allowed in the Nest. 

In a way, it was wonderful, how free he seemed in this space where Kevin was just a guest. But on the other hand, it had been much easier to reach out when they were both in the dark. 

Kevin was reminded of the gift, just waiting in his pocket, but at that moment it seemed so insignificant. Before him was the person who had been his world for years, and all Kevin had bought him to show how much he cared was an earring. 

“I know what you’re thinking.” Jean turned around, so quick and sure in his tone that Kevin’s heart skipped a beat. 

“You don’t.” 

“No?” Jean took a step closer, making a show out of hiding his hands behind his back. “I know you.”

Kevin stood firm, even when Jean didn’t stop until they were inches apart. There was something mischievous in Jean’s smile, reminding Kevin of those rare weekends alone in the Nest. His heartbeat grew quicker with each second, until finally Jean brought forth one of his hands and held it open for Kevin to see.

In his palm rested a small key, attached to a keychain shaped like a Trojan helmet. 

“He left it for us, so we can still visit your favourite court.” Jean looked so pleased with himself. 

“Great,” Kevin said, so short and obviously half a relieved exhale that Jean looked him up and down. 

“Not even going to deny it? Maybe the Foxes have not made you a liar yet.” Jean laughed, closing his hand on the key. “Ask me nicely, and we can go right now.”

“Really?” Kevin knew this game, this teasing tone that Jean would fall into when he was in an exceptionally good mood. “I thought I was going to have to drag you there.”

“You underestimate how much I have missed seeing the pout you do. You know, this,” he said with a gesture towards his face, while pushing his lower lip out, “whenever you lose.”

☉

When they were on the court together, everything made sense. All of Kevin’s worries were relegated to the back of his mind, and the only thing that remained was Jean. 

At Palmetto, Kevin would focus on practicing his technical skills, because it was something he could do on his own. The kind of one-on-one training Neil would sometimes suggest wasn’t as rewarding for him, since he was still far above the rest of the team in skill. 

But with Jean, it was different. All those years of spending almost every waking hour together had made them perfectly attuned to each other. Whenever Kevin tried to fake a shot, Jean saw right through it. When he found an unexploited angle, Jean was there before he could abuse it. Even when he tried to use sheer strength to force a shot into the goal, Jean was able to divert it with just the edge of his racquet.

After practice Kevin was sweating and gasping for air, more tired than he could ever remember being after playing with the Foxes. He longed for a shower, but even though Jean said they could use the shower at the dorms, he did not lead Kevin straight to the car. Instead, he took a turn right as they exited the locker room, still wearing their uniforms, and Kevin followed him through a heavy door and up a tall staircase. 

They must have practiced for hours, Kevin realised when Jean opened the door to reveal the outside. They were on the roof of the court building, and night had already fallen. Above them was the great night sky, as black as the Raven uniforms but lit up by thousands of stars and the bright moon.

“I come up here to smoke sometimes,” Jean said while the lighter lit up his face for a brief second. He took a deep inhale, and the little red tip of the cigarette pulsated with his breath. “Coach hates it, but Jeremy covers for me sometimes.”

“He probably hates it too.” Kevin walked up to his side, picking the one where the wind wasn’t bringing the smoke. 

“Just like you.” Jean glanced at him with a smile, that bordered on guilty, and Kevin did not object.

The summer night air nipped at Kevin’s bare legs. He reached into his bag, finding his jeans shoved in there and dug through their pockets until his fingers touched the silk ribbon tied around the package. Before bringing it out he clutched it for a moment. This wasn’t a big change, just the first of what hopefully was many gifts, exchanged as friends who finally did not need to be ashamed.

“For me?” Jean looked genuinely surprised, keeping the cigarette in the corner of his mouth as he accepted the box. He took it in both of his palms, cradling it like it was a sick bird. 

“It reminded me of you,” Kevin said while Jean was still opening it, carefully peeling back the layers of wrapping. “I bought it ages ago. Do you remember the horoscope I told you about? It said my lucky flower was the Bay Leaf.” 

Next to Jean’s rings, the earring looked less extraordinary than it did when Kevin examined it with his own naked hand. 

“So you are hoping to get lucky?” Jean looked up with a sheepish grin. It was nothing but a playful joke, but it still made Kevin’s skin tingle. Then Jean held it between his thumb and index finger, bringing it up to his ear to show what it would look like there.

“I love it,” Jean said, and just the word _love_ coming from his mouth seemed to suck all the air of the space between them. Had Kevin known it would be like this, with all those old feeling resurfacing as if they had never been apart at all, he might not have dared to visit at all.

Jean fumbled with the earring he was already wearing and slipped it into the pocket of his shorts together with the empty box. Then he put the new one on, and brushed his hair behind his ear to show it off.

“It looks good.” It was such an understatement, shame threatened to flush Kevin’s face. Still, it made Jean smile, and the hand that didn’t return to the cigarette lingered by his ear and the golden leaves for just a moment longer. 

“Do you know any constellations?” He said then, switching to French and letting his hand fall to his side while looking up at the stars above. 

“No,” Kevin shook his head. He was grateful for the excuse to look at something other than Jean, even if he was still in the corner of Kevin’s eye. 

“No? I thought that was what Astrology was for.” The smoke from Jean’s mouth rose through the air, toward the distant lights, only to dissolve a couple of feet above them.

There had been astronomers for thousands of years, from Babylon to Egypt to China and Greece. Kevin searched for the shapes, just like he imagined they had. Eventually, his eyes fell on a cluster of stars, gathered just above a row of brightly shining ones, and he pointed at them.

“That looks like a racquet,” he said and laughed when Jean grabbed him by the wrist to pull his hand down.

“It does not, and you are not being funny,” Jean said, even though he was laughing too.

“It does!” Kevin tried to pull free, but Jean’s grip was firm. When Kevin took a step away to try another angle, Jean followed. When Kevin pointed at the stars again with his free hand, Jean grabbed that one too, even if it meant dropping his cigarette.

“Look at it,” Kevin said and nodded towards the sky, but Jean didn’t break eye contact for a second. They weren’t laughing anymore. “You don’t believe me, but it’s right there.”

“I believe you.” Something as swift as a shadow passed over Jean’s face. His smile fell, just a little, and he ran his tongue across his lower lip so quickly Kevin barely had time to catch it.

“So why aren’t you loo-” 

Jean kissed him.

They were already so close, all Jean had had to do was lean a little further for their lips to meet. Kevin’s hands were still trapped in his grasp, the grip a little tighter than it was a moment ago. 

It lasted only for a second, but when Jean started to pull back Kevin followed. He wasn’t ready to let this go yet, not after having wanted it for so long. Still, there was something in the way Jean’s mouth stilled that made him break the kiss.

And there it was, the great terrible thing that the horoscope had warned him about, written all over Jean’s pained expression. 

“I didn’t mean to-,” Kevin started, but he wasn’t sure where he was going with it. 

“You?” There was something hard in Jean’s voice. “No, _I_ did that. I know I should not have because of you and- and whatever it is you and your guard dog have.” Disgust, Kevin realised, that was what it was. 

“Andrew?” he said, and there was a noticeable flinch when Jean heard the name. Kevin’s hands were still in his grasp, but it was loose now, barely holding on. His mouth was sealed, looking stern and thin and nothing like the soft and hungry thing that had kissed Kevin moments ago.

Kevin tugged his wrists free and took Jean’s hands in his. The rings were hard, warm, and pressed into Kevin’s skin when Jean squeezed his hand.

“He’s my friend,” Kevin said. “And he’s with Neil; I thought you knew that?” 

Even in the dark, it was possible to see the relief in Jean’s face in the way his mouth relaxed, falling just a little bit open as he swallowed. 

“Josten?” he asked, as if there was another one. “Not you?”

Kevin shook his head and stepped closer again, so their chests were brushing against each other. 

“Not me. Because I,” Kevin said with the greatest certainty he had ever spoken, “have always wanted this.”

Jean did not reply. He just leaned in, again, with even more eagerness than last time. His hands slid out of Kevin’s, and Kevin felt them on his hips, his arms, the back of his head and cupping his face. 

It was a change, and even though it could not be, considering his life so far, his heart still told him that it was the biggest, most important change Kevin had ever made. It told him that even though the stars had advised against it, he would be insane to deny himself the warmth of Jean’s body pressing against his. 

So he did not, and the stars could not do anything about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter titles are from: 1. heart-shaped box - nirvana, 2. county building blues - kendrick lamar, 3. cosmic love - florence + the machine.

**Author's Note:**

> hey if you like kevjean maybe check out the kerejean fic exchange on tumblr!! Kerejean.tumblr.com (tumblr in bio if u wanna say hi)


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